So here we are. Soaking up enviable weather in Southern Arizona. We left Texas a few weeks ago and the drive from there to here felt like the longest road trip of any of our travels. East Texas is not the prettiest and we went through another state they call "New Mexico" but I don't remember much of it. It is suppose to be the Land of Enchantment so maybe that has something to do with my inability to retain something of substance about it. God enchanted my memories right out of my head in case I ever need to make the trip again. You know, kinda like child birth.
While we were in Texas I had a trial of isolation and detachment from people, family and fellowship. There were many people there but their availability to socialize was foreign to me. We had a heck of a time finding a true bible teaching church and actually, we never did. We still went but never could get connected. I was dying socially. I enjoyed Texas but I was not sad to move on. However, once again right before we left we got to know probably the person we were suppose to meet while we were there. This is gonna sound terrible but neither Jeramie or I can remember his name. That wouldn't be so bad except he was our immediate next door neighbor for 2 1/2 months.
Since we don't know his name we will call him "Bill". Bill is a single guy probably about 65 or 70. He lives by himself in his coach in the same RV slip in the same RV park for the last 5 years. He has a few toys that are well taken care of and you can see he has put a bit of money and alot of sweat into them. This is all no big deal except I couldn't help but wonder where his family was. The entire time we were there we never saw a single person visit him and though he left, he was never gone long enough to constitute the impression of a family visit. Jeramie visited with him more than I had and I never was able to get a satisfactory answer to my question so I decided I wasn't suppose to know. We shared our Thanksgiving dinner with him and than again at Christmas sent over some more holiday treats. He was thankful, I think, although he never actually said thank you. In fact, the second time we brought him something he barely opened the door to his motorhome much like an unsocial recluse. He had all of the lights off and all I could see was a silhouette as he reached his hand out to take the plate. I reminded myself I wasn't there really to visit as it was one of the colder days we spent in Texas after all. Our interaction went on like this for about a month and a half. Not much was exchanged but not much was uncomfortable either. Than I was out finishing my run and he started talking. I was a bit pre-occupied with my ipod so I had to re-adjust my focus because I didn't see the potential conversation coming. Once he started it was very difficult to get him to stop. And it was then that I got the low down.
Bill has actually been married twice with also a common-law wife to claim as well. His most recent common-law wife died a few years ago. He talked of nothing but good things about her. Her name was Lorraine. I can remember that but I can't remember "Bills" name and I cannot figure out why. He has two children, a boy and a girl that I assume are quite a bit older than myself. Both kids he hasn't talked to since the early '80's. He has a few grandchildren but doesn't know them and I got the feeling that he doesn't even know their names. To me this was a very sad story. He is all alone. He does have some siblings in another state and he did say he was thinking this might be his last winter in Texas and that he might head to Utah this next spring. It was apparent that he is beginning to realize that he is all alone. I was really bothered that he was all alone. I didn't feel the kind of "poor guy" feeling that one has when they feel sorry for a stray puppy but the kind of "poor guy" sympathy that hurts for someone when all you can do is look from the outside perspective in and know that they are living out the consequences of choices from earlier in life. Then I had to start evaluating how this happens. How does it get so bad that forgiveness cannot be found. I can think of a few but since I don't know the entire story I also cannot assume that he has done some very wrong things that has him alienated from his family. We weren't suppose to fix his problems. We weren't suppose to share the Gospel with him. We weren't even suppose to get to know him that well. We were only suppose to love on him as we were asked to by God. It is hard not to think that he might be one of the lost that has been left to his own choices in life and hardened by the world. The very difficult thing to grasp with our experience with Bill is that maybe we were only suppose to help make his time here on Earth just a little more gentle because without Christ, this is the best its going to get for him.
It might seem odd that we weren't suppose to share the truth with Bill but it isn't really when you know that your mouth and tongue have been shut in a super-natural way by the Holy Spirit himself. Than it is really fascinating when you think you should say something to someone specific but literally cannot and suddenly out of now where you are doing laundry with a random stranger and words just start coming out in ways you never saw coming and suddenly stop just like a water faucet turning on and off and they are all words about proclaiming my Christianity and salvation and all neatly fit in between "what brought you to Texas" and "where are you headed next". That my friends is a wild experience!
After all of my social starvation in Texas I was super stoked to find all of the amazing resources I had been craving in Southern Arizona. We instantly found a church, the RV resort we are staying at offers two separate bible studies and the sun ALWAYS shines! This time I was reminded again to be careful of what you wish for. The last time we expressed our desire to obey we ended up in a motorhome longterm. This time I am being forced to learn apologetics of my faith in a way I never new was possible. We started out on this journey thinking that we would be witnessing to non-believers. And we have, but this time around I am being challenged with false doctrine. I had no idea that the truth of the Gospel could get so twisted around in the ever so slightest way. It had started making me question myself in my understanding but I was quickly confirmed and edified by trusted teachers and the Holy Spirit through the straight up bible itself. This first few weeks in Arizona have been challenging both emotionally and spiritually. But I am up for the molding and chipping away that God seems to think is necessary. It is uncomfortable but reasonable and enlightening and I am submitted to the fact that it is all part of Him equipping us for whatever is next.
This winter has been hugely challenging in ways neither one of us imagined. There has been some serious spiritual house cleaning and redecorating all for what we think is preparation of asking the great question of "whats next?". However we are finding out that its actually bringing us to a place of readiness for the answer that often does not come in a gentle tug but rather in an Elijah with fire and chariots kind of way because the thing we have learned with being obedient Christians is this, you end up saying "wow! didn't see that one coming" alot.
